The Moral Conundrum Of Just Being Friends

I want to write a poem for you today
But if I did so it would just fall
onto deaf ears and sightless eyes

Your eyes, they see sight
but not for me

You're right in front of my face
but staring down at your computer
thinking about another man

It's what I get for trying to win your love
with a cup of apple chaider and some nice words

I feel like cursing right here, right now
but I can't
Not in front of your face

Not in front of those eyes and ears...
which do not acknowledge my existence anyway

So if I get the courage (or cowardice)
I'll ask you how your lover is
and hold my true feelings inside

I'll let them mangle up my insides
and puke out into screenplay format

Cuz if there's anything worse than writing a poem for you
it's writing a script about me
and my anguish towards irony of our situation

I've been a loner for 21 years
I'll be a loner for more

God, you give me hope in small fragments, followed by bouts of sadness. Why? Why do you string me along such a path?

Aesthetic

Neon light shadows penetrate the deep
A heavy-hearted boulder plunges through them
Milky blue bubbles dance around the stone
They nervously dash to the Great Surface
The aged rubble begins to crack, then multiplies
Ocean waves turn earth's rock into sea baring comets
Crustaceans gather around
embracing each other, embracing sudden impact
Dust shifts in all directions
moving through the blue hue at the speed of a lit fuse

Valor

Left for dead in the middle of the night behind enemy lines

Left at the alter on his wedding day for another woman

Left with two children and a house payment while working two minimum wage jobs

Left in a sticky situation involving two friends who no longer love each other

Ascend above circumstance

Forgive

Fight

Control

 Overcome

                      

Map of Bones

Underneath his concrete cave
the worm's darkest secrets rest

filth, mud, muck, and files
Files filled with fragments of former flames
and of fictional friends

Oh, how the phallic creature snuggles in them
Reliving thoughts faded by a foam he keeps
locked inside layers of lard that he lavished
since launching them out of the landfill

Lucid dream erect from such emotion
engulfing the animal's estate in
ernest earnings of earbud, elixirs,
enraged pheromones, end-times entities,
and erroneous exercises in juggling

(She's Got) That Alternative Look (To Her)

If a horse were to chew rainbows,
wear dresses, drink tea, and cease to smell,
then men would never be loved by women.

...unless that woman happened to be a tomboy.

Tomboys like to eat rainbows. Eat rainbows for breakfast.

And spit them at the faces of those punks.
Yah know, the one dimensional, plastic boob
covered bimbos who steal attention away from
men who don't know any better.

Let the bimbos have them.

You'll wait for something better.

Lion In A Coma (Flannel Princess)

Studying your neckline turns eyes into cement mixers
They twirl in stimulating bliss from the vision before it

I know you notice

but do you care?

I'd kiss your wrists so my lips could taste the pulse running through your veins

... would you spare me that moment

Your words (spoken and written)

Thrilling

Your clothes (your own or borrowed)

Rousing

Your drive (present and future)

Inspiring 

Your morals (taught or formed)

Exhilarating

All of this,

when lingered on for too long inside a man's consciousness becomes...

Dangerous

Bone

Adam waited for his Eve.
He waited 21 years, searching through the Ellens, 
and the Ediths and Emmas.
Looking at them briefly, but always letting them pass by.


He waited patiently for his bone,
the rib she would one day give him.
Though his side ached and his heart sank
he waited in faith.


When his Eve came he rejoiced, 
and he turned his every focus towards his love.
Every thought became consumed with her.
Every inch of his being ready to serve the one he waited for.


But she wouldn't give him his rib.
Or even an extra moment of her time.
Eve told her Adam that she hadn't found him yet,
that she didn't want to find him.


While Adam sat restlessly
Eve jumped for joy.
"My Adam won't come for five or ten years,"
she proclaimed.


Adam kept trying to gain his Eve's attention,
to no avail.
So he gave up,
leaving his rib in the body of innocent cynicism.


Between five and ten years later
(If I were a betting man I would say closer to ten years,
this Eve was jarringly stubborn)
she became ready to find her lifelong lover.


She searched through the Alexs, 
and the Aubreys and Andrews.
Briefly flirting with each one,
but finding her rib not fit in their ribcages.


After a long trek filled with loneliness and despair
Eve died, alone.
The bone that wasn't her own 
punctured her stomach.


In the City of Zion
she walked through the masses.
One day Eve bumped into a man,
the man who once proclaimed himself to be her Adam.


As he stood in the filled city street
(with his good friend St. Thomas, 
I might add)
She asked him how he died.


He replied,
"suffocation",
then walked away,
ready to be comforted in the arms of his eternal lover.

It's easy to say you're waiting for the right person when you think you already know who the person is, and are just waiting to reel her in.

Stilted Growth

I use to eat my heart out whenever I wanted

But the motion proved prosaic

The feeling stale, yet still longed for 

I abandoned the craving

Plotting out a lucid self in replacement

To service what I will someday covet wholly 

That covet schemed against me

Hardening what ought not be hardened

Testing my will, my all

Though the fantasy was present

Discernment shackled it back

Defending the mind that cries out in lust too often

Bad Dialogue

I keep thinking about your lips
and how happy I make you feel
...in thought


Reality, someday, maybe

All Things Imagined & Hoped For

I long for the purist kiss
streamlining saliva and flesh
piercing through the blockade of shallow skin
screaming out endorphins through every pore of the body


your lips are my craving, spewing words purer than Columbian alkaloids


It's richer than sin
It's grander than evil
It trumps all lust


Your simplicity draws me nearer
Like the kiss I long to experience
the way you act, the way you dress
is sprung forth from the angels of most high


Our breaths lie in one as my conscious shoots to the moon
your eyes are my telescope, and in them I see only doves
Their wings travel to the place of angel's rest
Where you will truly go, and I as well


But first let's dwell here
In rust
In riot
Enraged... world
Let's fix it


Fix it with our kindness
Our love
Our passions
Your kiss
Which again, I long for

"You can't sop loving an angel."

"What if she becomes a demon?"



"You love her even more."

Those five letters sing in perfect unison when they say your name.

Is there a greater humanly love than that of helping another achieve one's dream at the expense of your own?

Femme Fatale

I'm as harmless as a butterfly
but you sting me like a bee.
The pain in my head hurts
less than the pain in my head.

I could sit in there, without you.
Let the celluloid cells fill my head.
But my brain's filled with prison bars
I throw up for safe measure against you.

The cinevision picture never looked as dull
as when it captured your image.
I only noticed once I cased my 3-d glasses
and saw the blurry I once viewed crystal clear.

I sit out here, without you.
My googly eyes set to panavision.
Dejection is something I never wanted to take
but should have expected.

I understand Lord, I understand

The Adjustment Bureau

The sneaking suspicion is that these daydreams have been wasted

Replaced by real life nightmares you never wanted to admit to be true

In the time of friendship it is love that you want

Metallic bands form around most fingers

The rest receive angst to drown in

Breathe quietly

A friend indeed you can’t plant your seed

To reap the harvest with a friend in good faith is transcending

However, it will not keep the emptiness at bay

Loneliness drowns at the pit of one’s belly

Starvation of the soul spreads like a disease

Instinct cripples

Be wary of the Cain that smite Abel

It lives in all of us

Waiting to leave a trail of fire behind each made up female flame

Love is blind in lust that feels like love

Throwing warning signs by the wayside for an adrenaline shot of false hope

Comforting possibilities

Fantasies never come true

We dream so big the fall cannot be broken

Hitting the ground with a needle’s sting

Getting up seems pointless

Alas, it happens anyway

Endurance preservers 

Standing In The Rain

The sky sounds it's ominous drum
It's torch of static shocks the sky
Commanding you to exit your den
And embrace it's cries 


Will you listen?


Exit out with feet clothed or unclothed
There is no bias
Let the earth's tears stream over your own
For they are tears of joy, not of the gloomy sorrow the grey depicts


Will you swallow them?


The drum amplifies 
Forcing you to a nearby tree
Away from the vengeance you feel it portrays
When in fact it's leading you to another surprise


Will you look up?


A canopy of green surrounds you
Blocking the water bullets from your body
Cuddling your soul from the lightning
And soothing your nostrils in damp dew


Will you look closer?


The leaf shelter is complex
Like an army of ants they stand for one purpose
Except for one branch
In the midst of the green hovers three small leaves draped in red


Will you stand out?

I'm Going To

I'm going to loose it

I'm going to loose my mind

I'm going to loose the one thing I hold most precious 

I'm going to loose it because it does me no good

It butchers my soul

Sending it into the air 

Shattered in a thousand pieces

Never to be seen again

I'm going to forget about you

I'm going to forget the girl I barely know

I'm going to forget the connection I perceive we have

I'm going to forget her because she does strange things to my mind

This thought process is in overdrive 

Creating a maze of possibilities

None of which will come true

Leaving me with inevitable decay

I'm going to break something

I'm going to break away from emotion

I'm going to break the metaphysical bond connecting me to other people

I'm going to break because life is easier without it

Life surges through feelings

But it brings a colleague 

To stop it's progression

And force the blow home

Characteristics of the human heart

Aroused by lust

Rejected by love

Obsolete in design

Lingering in thought

Headphones

Groovin to the waves of life

Crashing like the cymbals blast 

The synthesizer robust

Turned up a notch 

Seeking the quiet 

But lovin the noise 

Bounce the beat

Push the silent

Dream waves careen the black night 

shimmering down to earth 

sparks fly to light fires of fate

the distance is the now

November 4th, 2010

Organism

We let the rain drops fall

It seems long and boring

but a closer look shows complexity

it shows the difference between each moment we live

through lift and pull

past nip and break

laughter comes through

for no reason really

we cast a jump into oblivion 

and serenity awaits us

we fall up

and down jump

January 13th, 2009

The Cea Rule

exit the lights

fall onto the ocean

let its blanket surround you

and breath the calm air

the air of life and of peace

the blue-black sky shines brightly above you

a cool with the calm

and hear the color within the clouds

January 13th, 2009

Fly Remembrance

feel a fly take apart your everything

It sways back and fourth

making noises that kill

you want to push it away

but it has caught you in its trap

it seems tiny at times but it has a big heart

you have to get away

but you want to stay in its beautiful words

yes, they confuse

so here we are in a state of confusion

seeking a path but not wanting to take a step

do you stay or go

which do you want more

the addicting poison to stay in your veins

or a terrible healing that kills a part of you forever

October 23rd, 2008

C.B. w/FF

every once and a while I get sucked into a woman's face

It blankets around me and consumes my world 

I stare at it for ages, but they feel like milliseconds

Adoration to the nth degree 

I swear I will never be the same

That this face I barely know encompasses my entire thought process

I swear I will find a way to make it a piece of my daily life

Commitment never fell in worse hands

In time I will forget the face

I will remember that my life is alway stagnant

That to change doesn't fit my being

That your face can be forgotten

I don't want it to be true

In fact, as I near the doubt I have come accustomed to 

I cannot help but shed a piece of myself

And fall back into isolation

Cowardice is such a lonely word

A word I must break free from

If only to believe in your eyes once again

Let the brown diamonds close and open once more

Let them spring light into mine

Let them bring peace to a restless soul

A woman's eyes are a man's best friend, and worst enemy



April 28th, 2011

Thinking In Threes

what makes life tear down the winded mountain

how about a nice rum and coke says the beer man

follow blindly and never sway from the storm

like a hurricane it overlaps us

i do not know what you are talking about

it will flow away someday

crushing our inner most need

how do you not understand

so stick it out

love and joy vanish

it tastes so good

and you will become more confident in life

and souls are lost

no water is just my liking

you have overcome all

October 3rd, 2008

Ships Out To Midnight

Sometimes ships come out to midnight

hitting the starlight

making you look so bright

and keeping me in fright

hating is the way of this world

when did you decide to go along with it

you once were found

but now are lost

had sight

but gave into blind

speak of truth

not of lies that you don't want to believe

wake the storm

see that it breaks your faults

wake the day

see that it shines in you

Oct. 3rd, 2008

TXTING POEM

              gtg

      bff

  ttyl

y b

n 4

o u

t g

2 o

n z

i z

t z

e z

  >:(





February 17th, 2010

TO UNDERSTAND LIFTING UP

streamline the fault

nothing burns like chaos

not when angels glare down

bursting out tears like water gun flames

to take pity and yet to shame

to breathe life into the lost

to understand lifting up

the clay clouds crumble with intensity

shaking ground cannot waver 

not when the corrupt are gone

when freedom seals the fates of many

to sink and yet to swim

to bring reasoning into the unknown

to understand lifting up

storm drives down to earth

and we look up at the rain

not to be sad at the downpour 

but to bask in the shadows of hope

to break and yet to mend

to seep glory into the meek

to understand lifting up

5/11/2010

Through The Glass I Fell

through the glass I feel

hurting my soul

leaving my body

watch how the rooster crows

head held high

breaking silence nicely

this was what it felt like

the war of humanities plague

our lack of morality

we curse the ground

and wish it to feed us

we curse each other

and pray for love

I couldn't take it anymore

the silence was broken

so when the rooster crowed I,

jumped through the window

5/11/2010

Oh Miss Relationship Cynic, (A Lyrical Piece)

Oh Miss Relationship Cynic,

I understand your ways for they use to be mine.

Let me conquer your uneasiness,

your fear of failure,

your rooted ways

I’ll breathe life into your calloused bones

Give purpose to your selfish ways

And touch you like you’ve never imagined

Oh, oh

You need to take hold now

Grab the hand of boyish mystery

Let it take you so your bones can run free, tonight

Your hearts an empty fridge

And though it might look appetizing to your figure

It’s effects only run skin deep

How’s that slice of heartache?

Does it taste better with a dash with loneliness

And a pinch of denial?

Oh, oh

You need to take hold now

Grab the hand of boyish mystery

Will you run it through your hair with me, tonight

Lessons are like dirty countertops

The more you learn, the harder it is to scrape off

Like Cascade, two is better than one

I’ll bleach your sheltered life

If you soap away my innocents, tonight

Oh, oh

You need to take hold now

Grab the hand of boyish mystery

It’s smooth and it moves slow, all night

The Dampened Dinner

Lightning licks the sky

Its mouth roars a groan of approval

The dish: a star sprinkled pizza with a dash of the moon,

creamy clouds create the perfect five star appetizer

The light’s wetted tongue holds back it’s urge no longer

Saliva fizzles down to the earth

Falling on the faces that take each atmospheric firework show for granted

Above, the electric bolt bites

The thunder strikes like the dinner bell

Casting deep fried rain drops onto the already greasy ground

The people pay attention

They turn on their menus and ask the waitress for the dinner special

She replies: raindrop soup, cooled to 58 degrees,

shredded electricity, optional

Orders drown the cook, but he fills them all

For he is thankful for the taste of the sky

And gives back to those who notice

He replaces his knives’ shrill with the sound of a muffled blender 

His youngest clients fall back into their beds and dream of innocents

For his repeat customers, dessert is on the house

Fumes from his cooked grass breath life into their deadened nostrils

A fireball paints hues of a dreamcoat over the landscape

Signaling the end of a bountiful dinner service

A receipt more colorful than the sun’s rays is presented to the earthlings

At its bottom the people give thanks with a pot of gold

The sky shakes eyes with his many guests as they depart into the wild indoors

In due time the storm will steal the sky again and give the human its treat:

Life force

- Kyle Arpke, June 8th, 2011

The Obligatory Intro Post

I plan on using this blog to post pieces of my poetry (and other tidbits of stuff). I tend to write very abstract pieces, but once and awhile things (well... mostly women) naw away at my mind and so I'll write about that stuff as well. I have a very free flowing style to my writing, and write very leisurely. For better or for worse, I rarely go back and revise my poems. They're just in-the-moment happenings that I enjoy doing.

I hope anybody who stumbles across this site will enjoy reading them as well.